craftymama

The newness and excitement is starting to wear off.  I am going on hour long walks almost everyday,and really limiting my portions, eating all of the right stuff.  Slow and steady weight loss is alright with me.  I’ve always known that this wouldn’t be easy,but I really want this to be doable for me,so that I stick with it and don’t get burnt out too quickly.  I don’t know, I guess I’m just having a off moment.  This morning when I woke up, my back really hurt,and it just got me a little down,maybe I slept wrong.  I’ve had some lower back pain off and on in the past and have always attributed it to the excess weight. The pain worked itself out as I started moving around more.   The day before yesterday a friend and I went on a really long walk at the ocean.  In all we walked for about an hour and a half.  Whew, walking in the sand really does a number on your legs,your calves, everything.  I’m thinking that that could have even caused the back pain, I don’t know.   I hope not because I really enjoyed it, but boy was I tired!  Today I started one of the new exercise dvd’s that I just got, it was the turbo jam 20 min. workout, but the moves were just a little too much for me right then,I wasn’t in the right mindframe. I felt rushed since I had to take a shower and had some errands to run.  I told myself that it was okay since I would work in a good walk after dinner, but it just sort of set the tone for the day.  Strangely enough though, my diet has been really good today, so I guess I’m doing a little better than I give myself credit.   I know I’ll work through this, I’ve got to just remind myself that I am now in it for the long haul, and it’s okay to have off days. 

Some of it may be that I am just feeling a little anxious, this always happens to me, I look at the calendar and go,”Oh no, I only have 20 more days of vacation, before I go back to work!  I haven’t relaxed enough, where did the summer go?”  (To all who work year round, I’m sorry, I know that I sound like a spoiled brat, I mean, I do get summers off right?!)  So it goes, it is around this time every year that I feel this way, I should know it’s coming, but somehow it always takes me by surprise!  But every year I manage to get through it.  Tomarrow we’re definately going to be at the beach, fog or not! 

For years, I had stuck around 230 lbs. I wasn’t happy there,but had just sort of gotten comfortable there.  For my wedding 3 years ago I had gone from 241 to 230, by going to the gym for a few months. Even during that time I didn’t really change my eating too much. There was a period of 2 or so weeks that I did the curves diet, but I guess plateaued early,and I got discouraged.  Over the last year or so I have gone from the 230’s to 250lbs.  When I saw the 250 on the scale something inside me just screamed, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.  So here I am, and I feel pretty good. I’m off to a great start. I truly do feel like I am going to be successful this time, it just feels different.  I know that I shouldn’t think this way, but sometimes I’m just so frustrated over this last 15 - 20 lb. gain from this last year.Why didn’t I do this last year, then I would be even closer to my goal weight!  I know that I cannot dwell on this, it is something that I am going to need to work through.  Everything happens for a reason, I believe, and maybe I just wasn’t ready last year.  What is this weight gain trying to teach me?!  LOL  

I joined the heartbreakers last night.  I think down deep there is a very competitive athlete inside me, and maybe this will put a fire under my butt. 

last week, my friends and I,and our children,went to this great organic blueberry farm,where you pick your own, and pay by the pound.  We were having a great ol’ time,just visiting and picking.  So, after about 2 hrs. and filling a bucket and a half, I get up to the little stand, 6.4 lbs. worth! $31.00 !   So I have lots and lots of blueberries!  I froze them into little bags and have been eating them frozen.  They are so good!  They are almost like little ice cream bites! I’ve got blueberries for months! 

I’m really making a consious effort to get more water every day.  It’s working for the most part.  I’ve been averaging about 60-80 oz. a day.  I’ve heard that some suggest that you should drink half your weight in ounces.  That would be like 123 oz. a day.  It may be okay during the summer while I am home, but I am going back to work in less than a month.  I’m a home visitor, and a big part of my job is going into my client’s homes.  Well, I can’t really be asking them to use their bathrooms all the time! Some of these homes I don’t want to go anywhere near their bathrooms.  All of this water does cause more trips to the little girls room, that’s for sure.  So, this is something that I am going to have to figure out.  It is a WEE size problem(pun intended), but I’ve got some time yet.

Thanks to everyone that has been so supportive so far, I really think that this website and all of the amazing people on here are what is helping to make this time different.

Today was my first time trying one of the hip hop abs videos.  It was a lot of fun! It is definately something that you want to do in the privacy of your own home,with the curtains drawn!  It was a half hour workout, but I got a good little sweat going.  At the very end of that dvd there were some ads for other exercise dvd’s.  Well, I am a sucker for a good looking and sounding product,and the turbo jam dvd looked great.  A few years ago,when I had joined a gym, I really enjoyed kickboxing,turbo jam seems like it’s going to be a good cardio workout with some kickboxing thrown in.  So, within minutes, I found myself online at amazon.com, finding a great deal on one of the dvd’s.  So, very soon, I will have a good little library of exercise videos.  While the weather is good, I like to go on walks for exercise, but once it starts getting dark early, or rainy, I’m gonna need to have some things that I can do indoors.  I get bored with the same exercises so easily, I’m trying to keep it interesting.  

My diet, I’ve felt has been really good,for the most part.  Last night,my family and I went to go see the dark knight.  I sat in the middle, and the big bag of popcorn was repeatedly passed back and forth, between my boys and my husband.  I admit, I did put my hand in the bag a few times, before I came to my senses, I was in a trance for a second.  Old habits die hard.   I purposely went to the theater right after dinner, so that I we would not be hungry,but it has been a pattern for the family to always get a few snacks while there.  For the most part, though, I am very proud of myself, old patterns were not exactly shattered, the hand did go in and come out buttery, but patterns were shaken a little bit. Normally, I probably would have slowly eaten popcorn throughout the whole film(and it was a three hour film,so that would not have been good!). 

Plus, on a positive note, we do not live far from the theater, so we walked, there and back, that’s something. Every little bit helps.   

Well, first thing this morning, I stepped on the scale,and it said 247.5 lbs.!  So I actually lost 2.5 lbs. (but who’s counting).  A huge weight loss to start off would have been nice for motivation,but I keep telling myself that it would have mostly been water weight anyways.  When you weight yourself, does anyone else try to be lighter by lifting up your toes,ever so lightly?!  Like that is actually going to help,right?!LOL

Anyways, I am feeling pretty good.  Slow and steady wins the race . . . chugga chugga chugga. . . choo choo. . . I think I can, I think I can . . .

My original goal was going to be at least a half an hour of brisk walking every day.  I’ve been exceding that,but I just hope it’s enough.  I messed up, I got on the scale already. I told myself that I was going to wait until sunday,but I just couldn’t wait! Well, it didn’t budge!  What is that all about! I know that it’s only been 4 days,but c’mon.  I’ve walked 3 out of the 4 days, last night was almost an hour and a half, up hills and everything!  Each day has been 45 minutes or more. I’ve been working on my portions,doing alright. I am not on a specific diet right now, but have been doing pretty well on cutting the sweets and everything.  Well,miraculously, on sunday, there better be some poundage liftin’,that’s all I’ve got to say.  I’m not letting this stop me though, I know it takes time,but I guess I’m just always used to hearing of people losing good amounts the first week of dieting and exercising, I guess I’m just different. 

I work nine months out of the year,the school year, so in the summer I am always on unemployment.  On one hand I’m glad that I’m starting this now, and using this time to get good habits formed, but then again, I’m worried how it may change once I’m back to work full-time. That on top of 2 active boys,a husband, oh yeah,and I’m taking a class too.  Okay, that’s it, I’m done now.  I feel better.  I need to just keep reminding myself of how much I do want this.  I’m gonna get out of this just what I put into it.  It took me a good deal of time to pile this extra weight on, it would be silly to think that it will just fall off,never to be found again.  Okay, that little bit of self talk worked,whew . . .

well, I guess it could have been better, but it also could have been much worse!  The turkey carcass is still intact.  Sadly, I didn’t use the small plate,but I did show some restriant, I didn’t pile it on, like I would have a week or two ago. It is all about baby steps,right? At least pumpkin pie was not made to make the feast complete!LOL   Then I woulda been a goner!  My evening out for a drink went well, I had one sierra nevada beer.  I don’t remember the exact figures, but beer and wine doesn’t have as many calories or fat grams as I thought(whew hoo! drinks on me!) No, I’m good with my one, the once a month or so that I go out with my girlfriends. 

My plan has been to go for my walks after dinner each evening, tonight it is especially chilly.  I’ll bundle up and just think warm thoughts. Maybe warms thoughts that include me in a two piece someday, at least one of those tankini things. . .

The plan was to go on another walk this evening, but of course,life is full of the unexpected, and I got a call from an old friend who has just moved back to town, and asked if I wanted to go out for a drink(noooo appetizers noooo!) I’m not much of a drinker anyways,I’m good for one drink,it’s just good to be out sometimes,to catch up.  I know, I could have said,”well,let’s go for a walk instead”, but no I didn’t, but that’s okay,I’m feeling strong.  She’s also someone that I used to walk with,so once she gets settled, we’ll start that up again. 

I did something silly, and weighed myself, even though I knew it was too early, so of course,that scale said the exact same thing as it did a week ago.  I am not going to step back on it until next sunday.  Sundays will be my weigh in day, I’ve decided. 

Every once in a while, we cook a turkey,and then are able to make a number of meals out of it.  Well, my husband put one in the oven today. I can smell it cooking as I write.  Turkey is good for you, as long as I stay away from the mashed potatoes and they gravy,I think I’m good. I’ll need to stay clear of the stuffing too,that’s a weakness.  I diced up apples and put them in the stuffing,does that make it any healthier? Anyways, I’m gonna sign off, I want to go check the calorie counter, and try to find out how many calories are in a sierra nevada vs. a glass of merlot…

So,my first day went well. Last night, I ate dinner with the small plate! After dinner, my husband,mike, and my youngest son,trey,went on a walk with me, we walked for nearly an hour.  Hopefully this enthusiasm lasts for them, but who knows. Some evening in the not too distant future, my husband will come in the front door with a tub-o-amber’s favorite ice cream(marble fudge) unwittingly sabotaging me.  My favorite thing now are smoothies. After our walk last night I made a yummy one with some ice, 2% milk,bananas, a little bit of peanut butter and about a tbsp. of wheat germ. It was so good!  Today, my son and I made a banana and mango one that was also very yummy.  So I guess my plan is whenever I am craving ice cream, I can grab my blender, and get creative with some new concoction…

I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a long time, and finally got my nerve up to start it.  I know why I am overweight, I have this insane sweet tooth, have a hard time when it comes to portions and at times I look outside and it feels like I have weights on my feet,keeping me on the couch.  I think to myself, I know I should get outside for a walk, and I even know that I will feel good afterwards,but still it is hard to get started.  So I am hoping that coming here and getting support will help me to stick with it finally.